Shop Mobile More Submit  Join Login
"Ah, damn.  God damn."

The stain was small, no larger than a coin.  It fell near his right hip, nestled in the dip between crotch and thigh.  Still, it was nauseating.  Paul stripped off the trousers and walked to the sink, hoping the sliver of hotel soap would take out the spot.

He began running the hot water and paused, staring at the vomit.  Resisting the urge to gag, he grazed his fingers over the stain.  It was purely liquid and slick like dish soap, but the sickly brown could only be vomit.  He slowly raised his hand to his face and sniffed his fingers.  Nothing.  It seemed, for a moment, odorless.  But no, he suddenly caught a faint scent of metal.  Like a cup full of coins.  Or a bloodied nose.

"Shit!"  A stream of blood ran down his nostrils, over his lip and down his chin.  Paul dropped the trousers to the bathroom floor and watched the blood and water run down the drain, pink and cloudy.  He grabbed a tissue and clamped his nose shut.

Catching sight of himself in the mirror, Paul started to laugh.  Half-naked, clad only in a t-shirt and briefs, nose bloodied and trousers stained with vomit.  He stopped laughing when he noticed an ugly, reddened patch of skin creeping out of his underwear and down his leg.  It was raised and it shined like a blister.

Paul threw the tissue into the toilet, thankful that the bleeding had abated.  He touched the spot, wincing at the sudden pain.  Carefully, he removed his briefs, and saw an uneven, ugly rash, emanating outward from that tender area where the vomit stain had been.  Thoughts raced: had the redheaded man ingested some kind of poison?  Had his stomach acid burned Paul's skin?  It was probably a simple rash, but Paul was frightened.  He turned off the sink, rushing now to the shower, running a lukewarm mix before stepping in.  

Paul worked up a lather in his hands and gently started to wash the rash.

Flakes, like scales, began to slough away.

Underneath whirled a mass of colors.  Indigo.  Vermilion.  Rust.  Mahogany.  And they were… moving.  Swirling.  Copulating with each other.  Buds of new, unseen colors exploding from the trysts.

It was beautiful.  It was obscene.  
It was spreading.
Paul cleans his trousers and makes a disturbing discovery.
Add a Comment:
 
:iconmeocifer:
MEOCIFER Featured By Owner Jul 17, 2013  Professional Photographer
wow, totally intoxicating, need more!

Reply
:iconc-blaze21:
C-blaze21 Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2013
Wow,
This is one impressive story.
Can't wait to read more.
Reply
:icondasbigfoot:
DasBigfoot Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2012
Love It! More!
Reply
:iconfranny123:
franny123 Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012  Student Writer
Awesome.
Reply
:iconnigmasin:
NigmaSin Featured By Owner Nov 8, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
very self-oriented chapter, it seemed to me
Reply
:iconkaidarknight:
KaiDarknight Featured By Owner Nov 7, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Man this gives a real chill :D
Reply
:iconeroger4:
eroger4 Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Fantastic!
Reply
:iconkatsenia:
Katsenia Featured By Owner Oct 27, 2012
Great writing - really enthralling!!!
Reply
:iconwhatitmeanstobehuman:
WhatItMeansToBeHuman Featured By Owner Oct 27, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Very cool^^
can't wait for the rest of the story to unfold!
Reply
:iconsexymummy:
sexymummy Featured By Owner Oct 27, 2012  Hobbyist
wow
Reply
:iconmarveen86:
marveen86 Featured By Owner Oct 26, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Fantastic..I really appreciate the style..the story plot flows naturally
Reply
:iconkailani-e:
Kailani-e Featured By Owner Oct 26, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
Congratulations! Amazing piece, good job ; )
Reply
:iconxbubba-was-herex:
xBubba-was-herex Featured By Owner Oct 26, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
congrats ^^ Amazing submission, I really like it
Reply
:iconrtylerfiction:
RTylerFiction Featured By Owner Oct 26, 2012  Student General Artist
Skillfully crafted. Less is always better, and you've given just enough.
~R. Tyler
Reply
:iconrickykay:
RickyKay Featured By Owner Oct 25, 2012
Nice words, man. Very inspirational. It's an excellent one to kick off with.

Congrats.
Reply
:iconmorethankarisma:
MoreThanKarisma Featured By Owner Oct 25, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Well, when they say that exquisite corpses have a tendency towards the surreal, they certainly knew what they were talking about. :D

This is great. Congratulations on winning, and you surely deserved it. I enjoyed every word.
Reply
:iconstarkraving-mad:
StarkRaving-Mad Featured By Owner Oct 25, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I like it. Dunno what the problem is with everyone else. Wonderful stuff. Writing should flow like good conversation and your entry does. its a concept that I'm still learning, but I'll get there eventually :D congrats
Reply
:icondbrokensoul:
dbrokensoul Featured By Owner Oct 24, 2012
This is brilliant!
I really like where you take the story to.
The way you describe the event is detailed yet not too much.
You deserved it :D
Reply
:iconlilmissa103:
lilmissa103 Featured By Owner Oct 24, 2012  Student General Artist
Congrats! You deserved it! It was good ^^
Reply
:iconninefiftin:
Ninefiftin Featured By Owner Oct 24, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Congrats for the selection ! Well written, and I love your idea. The last lines are brilliant !
Reply
:iconisobellablye:
IsobellaBlye Featured By Owner Oct 24, 2012
Great work! Looking forward to reading what you come up with next....
Reply
:iconsagecomic:
SageCOMIC Featured By Owner Oct 24, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Congratulations, great chapter :)
Reply
:iconsamoholic:
samoholic Featured By Owner Oct 23, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Wow, great job, I love the way direction you've moved the story in.
Reply
:iconloona-cry:
Loona-Cry Featured By Owner Oct 23, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Well done and congrats for the selection! :D
Reply
:iconsolum-ipsum:
Solum-Ipsum Featured By Owner Oct 23, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Seems like we have a winner! Congrats! :D
Reply
:iconwonderer1000:
Wonderer1000 Featured By Owner Oct 23, 2012
the spreading of colours is a beautiful idea, the rest is not enough surprsing for me.
Reply
:iconkendosakila:
kendosakila Featured By Owner Oct 23, 2012
I like where you have taken the story. Very well done and congratulations.
Reply
:iconfirefly155:
Firefly155 Featured By Owner Oct 23, 2012  Student General Artist
Well Done! :D I do like this very much.
Reply
:iconwolfsaviour:
WolfSaviour Featured By Owner Oct 23, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Congratulations! Better than mine by far!
Reply
:icongilgaphoenixignis:
GilgaPhoenixIgnis Featured By Owner Oct 23, 2012
Congratulation. You really do well for making it unsettling.
Reply
:iconwixirox:
wiXirox Featured By Owner Oct 23, 2012
Instills some very Lovecraftian imagery that escalates as you get towards the end ... Very well done!
Reply
:iconpuzzledpixel:
puzzledpixel Featured By Owner Oct 23, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
well written! congratulations!
Reply
:iconmabogunje:
Mabogunje Featured By Owner Oct 23, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Well done! :thumbsup:
Reply
:icondulex94:
dulex94 Featured By Owner Oct 23, 2012  Student Writer
Congrats :D
Reply
:iconkor-skarn:
Kor-Skarn Featured By Owner Oct 23, 2012
Congratulations! Skillfully written and flawlessly narrated. Good work. :thumbsup:
Reply
:iconrubycaulfield:
rubycaulfield Featured By Owner Oct 23, 2012
Beautiful writing, well done.
Reply
:iconsleepybutterfly92:
SleepyButterfly92 Featured By Owner Oct 23, 2012
Honestly, I really enjoyed this for a first chapter. It's different, and I think that's what's going to make the rest of the story interesting. And I think that's what the judges were looking for, something outside of people's expectations. So well done, and don't stop writing because of what other people say. :D
Reply
:iconmarkmywords85:
markmywords85 Featured By Owner Oct 23, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
In hopes of cooling off some of this back and forth I'm hiding some of the comments. I've restrained myself until now but it seems whole arguments are spinning out that have nothing to do with my piece, but a larger commentary on displeasure about the project as a whole. Also, I welcome constructive criticism, but "get lost PhD boy" and "pathetic" are not critiques. They're attacks. If you act like a jerk, you will be blocked.
Reply
:iconshadowadrik:
shadowadrik Featured By Owner Oct 23, 2012
congratulations. can't wait to see where it goes from here
Reply
:icontamitw:
TamiTw Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Brilliant writing! Please write a chapter 2! and so on! so we know what is going to happen and what your thought process is haha
Reply
:iconcromsv:
CROMsv Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Congrats on the winning!! Let's see where the story goes from here! Keep it up!
Reply
:iconbigredcurlyguy:
BigRedCurlyGuy Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
Good job markmywords85. To the sour grapes naysayers, suck it and get chapter two ready.
Reply
:iconragesevenqb:
ragesevenqb Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2012
I just wanted to take a minute to say that there are a lot of negative things being said. Some in the chat rooms are being trolls. Myself included. Partly because, as I have stated this project souded a little more large and well intentioned than it has in the end become. A lot was promised in the beginning and then revoked or removed.
These are highly disappointing. Some writers have called your work adverb filled dribble. NO, that is just spite. You wrote a short, decent begining to a chapter. But it is honestly very short and doesn't move us as far as most of us thought we would now be preparing a second chapter. A lot of the blame has to be on the organizers who decided to claim this was a 9 chapter work where we would contribute 8 full length chapters to a book.
This clearly isn't the case. At best this work will be 3200 words in length. A short book is around 75,000 to 90,000 words minimum. Regular writers know this and are frustrated that 400 words or less is all they wanted. A short story. They should never have used the word book. Its misleading. But it stands to reason your work is good. So congrats. It was a short window of opportunity and you hit that window. Can't argue against that.
Reply
:iconchristmasworm:
christmasworm Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2012
Good job. You definitely managed to stay in the moment better than I did.
Reply
:iconzoefish:
zoefish Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2012  Student General Artist
congratulations on winning! this is awesome!
Reply
:iconchokey:
Chokey Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2012
Congrats!
Reply
:iconwei-en:
wei-en Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2012
This was a great choice! Your writing style is very...fluid.
Reply
:icondruidrain:
druidrain Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2012   General Artist
wow! great stuff! congrats on the chapter
Reply
:icondragonavicious:
Dragonavicious Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2012  Student Digital Artist
Don't listen to the negative reviews. I liked this entry and wanted to say congratulations. While it may have been more passive I'm not sure how else one describes such a situation. I also think you started out slow, with it just being normal vomit, to the startling realization that something else was happening. And then a shocking conclusion! All in 400 words. Great job and I look forward to the future entries.
Reply
:iconragesevenqb:
ragesevenqb Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2012
I couldn't agree with you more dragon. He did a good job with the word limit and the only argument i have is plot movement. It can't really be seen as too passive because that was the voice he selected movming forward. Like seems to be like criticizing a painter for not using a brush, if the final product is a masterpiece, who cares what tools were involved.
Reply
Add a Comment:
 
×

Featured in Collections

Inspiring by OfOneSoul

Literature by ValkyrieNix


More from DeviantArt



Details

Submitted on
October 18, 2012
File Size
2.7 KB
Link
Thumb

Stats

Views
6,112
Favourites
70 (who?)
Comments
127
×